El CCM is definitely more fun!!! We are never supervised here. They did not let us take a nap. And I dont´t think they have siestas. But they do eat way more for lunch than dinner. She hurt herself playing soccer and it will take a couple weeks to heal. We stopped caring because I basically died so yeah...

 

This week has been crazy! People went crazy!

 

The madness started when me and my companera went al clinica to check on her Achilles tendon. While we were sitting there talking to the doctor I started to feel really dizzy. Usually blood and stuff doesn´t bother me too badly but right then when he was talking about the bundle of fibers in her tendon I was so grossed out! The way he described it sounded so weird! I was drifting in and out and I wanted to tell them I was going to faint. (I am an expert fainter and know the signs) But I was too exhausted to do anything. When it was time to leave (I don't remember any of this but my companera told me later) I walked in the opposite direction of the door straight into a wall, hit my head on the wall, hit my head on a the frame of a painting as I fell to the floor, and then hit pretty much every part of myself on the floor. I had a HUGE dent in my forehead. When I was conscious again the first thing I thought was, " What the heck happened to my head!" and then I heard the doctor saying," you fainted." NO DUH.  Then I tried to stand up but that didn't work at all so I just lay there until my heart rate came back up. As soon as it did me and my companion started cracking up because it really was funny. Love her and her immaturity. The doctor thinks we are crazy. Correct! I think I fainted because I was dehydrated and because I was having trouble eating. Bad Ella!

 

I didn't feel faint at all afterwards but my head hurt like crazy! For the first day I lost all my Spanish and I couldn't read or write in English. But I was really happy. Too happy. I just lay on the ground all day holding my super cold hands to my head. I was so out of it that it hurt in a good way and I was like this is fun not having a brain! yay! I was scared to go to sleep because I wasn´t sure if I would wake up. But I did! And now I´m fine! And my brain came back! Yip! Yip!

 

The second crazy thing that has developed this week is that now me and my companion now say the same thing at the same time all the time! It weirds people out. Especially our investigators. Sometimes they are too weirded out to answer our synchronized questions.

 

The third crazy thing is that everyone here is secretly nuts. Me and my friends have been going along thinking that everyone is all friends and being normal and stuff like that. But this week there have been an absurd amount of people confessing their love for other people. I understand if you like other people but it is clearly against the rules to do anything about it! Three different districts that we have become friends with left on Sunday. I guess they all thought what do we have to lose? Apparently nothing. My gorgeous companion has had it the worst. She gets weird notes, people ask her for her email all the time, and we even got ding dong ditched. People be cray.

 

In other random news my district heart attacked the president´s house. And en la tienda the other day Elder Henrie offended Elder Crotzer by saying he was stronger than him. All day today they have been having different competitions of strength. I don´t try to understand.

 

The other day me and my companion were practing receiving inspiring questions. Super fun! We were just talking as ourselves but I was her investigator. She asked me about something very personal that I had been worrying about. There is no way that she would have known to ask that if she hadn´t been in tune with the Spirit. I am so lucky to have such a spiritual companion! And it also helped me understand how true it is that Jesus Christ really does know each of our hearts personally.

 

I write a lot here. This is something I wrote when I was supposed to be preparing a talk on the Atonement. Which went well by the way. This is loosely based on an experience I had a couple years ago and my love for the Atonement in general.

 

The inability to support my usual stature tears me by increments to the ground. Eyes slam shut. Legs buckle under. My arms fail to cradle my face as it levels with the floor.

 

Gravity, the thing I used to thrive against, pulls me into its dark embrace. All the previous necessities of life don´t bear significance in the exhaustive atmosphere I now inhabit. I don´t feel the pangs of hunger. I don´t hear the voices tirelessly existing outside the room. I´m unable to shed tears.

 

I do try to take a rattling breath of nourishing oxygen but I only half succeed. Mouth gapes wide. Teeth snag on carpet. Only my heart beats on as it should. Ican feel it thumping hard into the surface beneath me. As if this repetitive meeting can keep me alive.

 

My spirit knows better, one eye trained on the growing depression which is the end. I scramble to find a place in this wrecked body where I can curl up and protect what aspirations I have left.

 

But there is nowhere to hide when the black night weighs down. There is nowhere to go when gravity has made my body obsolete.

 

My soul harks back to the ways of my origin. I open a portal of heavenly prayer. I climb out of my prison, my mind with no thoughts. I clutch desperately onto the back of a lamb.

 

Its wool is blinding. Pristine and comforting to the touch. I drag the rest of my identity outside the gnawing cave. The lamb is quite small, but my spirit has been shriveled to weakness. The sweet animal holds me up in place of my nonexistent strength.

 

Oh dear Lord, thy mercy unending. Take my cares from my troubled grasp. I have been worn down to the devil´s doorstep. Only thy invitation can save me now.

 

Dear Lord, I promise to never forget thee if thou wilt become my stamina anew. I´m unable to take a step without thee. I beg thee to guide my legs and my feet.

 

I thank thee Lord for life, for opportunities. I ask that thou mend my body discarded. My spirit has gasped at the horror of evil. My only desire is to live forever in thy light.

 

Love you!